Windows 7 aka the Apple Crusher!

That's right. Windows 7 is pretty sweet. Not only is it faster than Vista (except for booting up and Microsoft Office apps), it comes stripped down of a bunch of programs you might expect to see. It's up to you to download whatever you want so it's fully customizable. It's like buying a car that's just wheels, an engine and a chassis and it's up to you to get doors. How cool is that? It even wipes away programs that you may have installed under your older OS. Stuff like Calendar, Contacts, Movie Maker, Photo Gallery, Windows Mail. You know...useless crap.

So take that Apple, with your built-in programs and virus free surfing. Keep big computing out of our lives! No to the public option+apple+esc. Yes to ctrl+alt+del! Can I have a job now Mr. Gates?

But will it clean my belly button?

Just got this delicious SPAM in the e-mail. It's for a product called Cyber Clean. Guess it's been around for a while but I never heard of it. Basically it's a yellowish blob that you spread onto things with little cracks and crevices like remote controls, hair dryer screens and keyboards. It works kind of like a Biore strip. You spread stuff onto those surfaces, it adheres to the dirt and crumbly crud then you pull it off. It seems to be a disinfectant that traps germs and "micro encapsulate" them so they will never see the light of day again. The more you use it the greener it gets so if it starts looking like a huge booger you should get a new one.

New Apple iMac

Everyone got all in a tizzy because the Apple site was down a couple days ago. "The new product is going up! The new product is going up!" Nerds. And what's the big deal? a 27" screen? 1920 x 1080 HD resolution? I hooked my PC to a 55" HD screen years ago. When I sit in front of that bad boy I can't see anything in my peripheral vision. My corneas scream! Just ask my optometrist.

And what's with the Magic Mouse? Does David Blaine come with it? No, thanks. I'll stick with my Logitech MX 1000 wireless.

There's also something called Turbo Boost that's supposed to shut down idle cores when using applications that don't require them and speeding up the ones that are. Meh. I like getting my Turbo Boost at Dunkin Donuts.

Ghost Lab

Anyone seen this show? Anyone? I gave it a shot, watched a couple episodes and I've got to say I'm not feeling it. For one thing, I don't need to have a camera pointed right at the investigator's faces.It makes the whole thing look like some reality show. Maybe that would be better. Throw Flava Flav and Alyssa Milano in there and maybe I'll watch it. And I just can't get over thinking the guys look like they walked off the Amercan Chopper set. Was there a tattoo sale at Walmart? It's Ghosthunters all the way. Go TAPS!

Balloon Boy

I remember watching the whole thing go down and thinking, "There's no way that kid is in there." I just kept thinking of the Mythbusters episode where they tried to pick up a 4 year old girl with nothing but helium filled balloons. I think they filled over 3000 balloons and it barely lifted her. No way a little mylar balloon like that was lifting away a 6 year old boy. I don't care how much he throws up to lighten the load...

Worst Infomercial Product Name

Quite an honor to get this title. I'm going to have to give it to something called BUMPITS. Not "BUMP-ITS" like it should have been spelled (they're women's hair accessories to give their hair more lift) but BUMPITS, which instantly makes me think of pits that you put your bum in. Either that or some cave dwelling for the homeless. What were these people thinking?

Secret Asian Man's Pumpkin Carving Contest!

INSTRUCTIONS + RULES:
Get a pumpkin and carve any SAM art of your choice into it. It can be the face logo, SAM art from a random strip, an entire strip, different characters from the strip, a SAM hair wig made from a pumpkin...etc. The only rules are you need to use a pumpkin and execute some sort of SAM theme with it. Period. Enter as many different pumpkins as you wish. Entries will be accepted all the way up to midnight of Halloween night.

E-mail all entries to: tak@secretasianman.com

PRIZES:
The creators of the 3 winning SAM-o-lanterns will have their creations posted online and receive original artwork from the strip! Please be sure to include a mailing address for every entry. Get carving!