Sunday, December 27, 2009

Nerf Gun Rack

Christmas was cool. Spent it with SAM and family. Shin got some sweet new Nerf guns. He's got like 4 of them now but they just get piled up in some bin. I think I'll design a Nerf Gun Rack and try to sell it to Nerf. Something you can hang behind a closet door or mount on the wall. Shin also has one of those battery operated Jeeps he drives around that would look hick-tastic with a gun rack on it. Yeeehaaawww!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Snuggie Apps

That's right. Forget iPhone apps. I'm making apps for Snuggies. So far I have a pocket app, velcro remote control holder app, waterproof app and front man flap app so I don't even have to take it off when I go tinkle. Now I just have to set up my Snuggie app store and watch the money pour in.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Secret Asian Man: The Daily Days

My pal SAM has somehow ended up getting his life story from the past 2-3 years collected into a big ol' book. It's available for pre-order at Amazon so I'm going to order mine now and see what it says in there about me. Not sure who this Tak Toyoshima guy is but I guess it must be a long lost relative or something.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Water on the moon!!!

25 gallons of space water! Turns out the moon is one juicy chunk of rock. I wonder what it tastes like. I'm betting it's kinda raspberryish. Now we're only few short years away from waking the giant dragon asleep in its icy core. I can't wait!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Windows 7 aka the Apple Crusher!

That's right. Windows 7 is pretty sweet. Not only is it faster than Vista (except for booting up and Microsoft Office apps), it comes stripped down of a bunch of programs you might expect to see. It's up to you to download whatever you want so it's fully customizable. It's like buying a car that's just wheels, an engine and a chassis and it's up to you to get doors. How cool is that? It even wipes away programs that you may have installed under your older OS. Stuff like Calendar, Contacts, Movie Maker, Photo Gallery, Windows Mail. You know...useless crap.

So take that Apple, with your built-in programs and virus free surfing. Keep big computing out of our lives! No to the public option+apple+esc. Yes to ctrl+alt+del! Can I have a job now Mr. Gates?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

But will it clean my belly button?

Just got this delicious SPAM in the e-mail. It's for a product called Cyber Clean. Guess it's been around for a while but I never heard of it. Basically it's a yellowish blob that you spread onto things with little cracks and crevices like remote controls, hair dryer screens and keyboards. It works kind of like a Biore strip. You spread stuff onto those surfaces, it adheres to the dirt and crumbly crud then you pull it off. It seems to be a disinfectant that traps germs and "micro encapsulate" them so they will never see the light of day again. The more you use it the greener it gets so if it starts looking like a huge booger you should get a new one.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

New Apple iMac

Everyone got all in a tizzy because the Apple site was down a couple days ago. "The new product is going up! The new product is going up!" Nerds. And what's the big deal? a 27" screen? 1920 x 1080 HD resolution? I hooked my PC to a 55" HD screen years ago. When I sit in front of that bad boy I can't see anything in my peripheral vision. My corneas scream! Just ask my optometrist.

And what's with the Magic Mouse? Does David Blaine come with it? No, thanks. I'll stick with my Logitech MX 1000 wireless.

There's also something called Turbo Boost that's supposed to shut down idle cores when using applications that don't require them and speeding up the ones that are. Meh. I like getting my Turbo Boost at Dunkin Donuts.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ghost Lab

Anyone seen this show? Anyone? I gave it a shot, watched a couple episodes and I've got to say I'm not feeling it. For one thing, I don't need to have a camera pointed right at the investigator's faces.It makes the whole thing look like some reality show. Maybe that would be better. Throw Flava Flav and Alyssa Milano in there and maybe I'll watch it. And I just can't get over thinking the guys look like they walked off the Amercan Chopper set. Was there a tattoo sale at Walmart? It's Ghosthunters all the way. Go TAPS!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Balloon Boy

I remember watching the whole thing go down and thinking, "There's no way that kid is in there." I just kept thinking of the Mythbusters episode where they tried to pick up a 4 year old girl with nothing but helium filled balloons. I think they filled over 3000 balloons and it barely lifted her. No way a little mylar balloon like that was lifting away a 6 year old boy. I don't care how much he throws up to lighten the load...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Worst Infomercial Product Name

Quite an honor to get this title. I'm going to have to give it to something called BUMPITS. Not "BUMP-ITS" like it should have been spelled (they're women's hair accessories to give their hair more lift) but BUMPITS, which instantly makes me think of pits that you put your bum in. Either that or some cave dwelling for the homeless. What were these people thinking?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Secret Asian Man's Pumpkin Carving Contest!

Get a pumpkin and carve any SAM art of your choice into it. It can be the face logo, SAM art from a random strip, an entire strip, different characters from the strip, a SAM hair wig made from a pumpkin...etc. The only rules are you need to use a pumpkin and execute some sort of SAM theme with it. Period. Enter as many different pumpkins as you wish. Entries will be accepted all the way up to midnight of Halloween night.

E-mail all entries to:

The creators of the 3 winning SAM-o-lanterns will have their creations posted online and receive original artwork from the strip! Please be sure to include a mailing address for every entry. Get carving!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Love this show but I have one suggestion. Jason and Grant and the other investigators should wear helmets with UV, IR, DV and thermo cameras facing whatever they are looking at. They have so many personal experiences that don't get recorded. I want to see what they see!

Friday, September 25, 2009


Almost forgot I started this thing. Still putting calamine lotion on all the mosquito bites I got on that camping trip. I'm really glad SAM took me even though I almost drowned. Hey, I got to hang out with Big Foot, so that's a win! Plus Marie is pregnant again! That's great news to be rescued with. Got me started thinking about some pregnancy/baby inventions.

Got a job interview in the morning. Something about a Green Jobs Czar in Washington. Not sure about the commute though...

Monday, August 3, 2009

Gone Camping

Sneaking a minute to blog while Sam is relieving himself...again. I swear, that guy is like a, like a thing that relieves itself all the time. We're on our way to camp in the woods. Sam wants to take my mind off my pal Billy Mays passing away. OK, he wasn't my pal but he was my hero. I appreciate Sam taking time off to help me heal. Now I just hope we survive the expedition.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Combination toothbrush/nose hair trimmer

The true genius of this invention isn't the individual tools. It's that this was designed to be used at THE SAME TIME! I tear up when I think about it. I thought of this one while looking in the mirror and wondering if I could create a lotion that could instantly erase the morning pillow wrinkles on my face.

Sunday, June 28, 2009


I'm not sure what to think of this. According to Billy Mays' wiki page, this is his final Twitter. The date matched and the subsequent tweets seem to reflect his real schedule. Pretty creepy.


I'm absolutely stunned. I haven't even recovered from Michael Jackson's death (nevermind the flooding of my Lunchkins factory) and now this. My all time infomercial hero, Billy Mays, has passed away. I talked to the guy just a few days ago. He was awesome! I wonder what's going to happen to the Pitchmen show? It's the only show I religiously watched while being on the road. Billy, you will truly be missed. On behalf of all the inventors, tinkerers and idea folks out there, we salute you.

Saturday, May 30, 2009


Amazing how little time I have to post these blogs. Damien barely lets me near a computer. I'm at a Starbucks right now borrowing some guy's laptop. Turns out he saw me on Oprah. Go celebrity perks!

Friday, May 22, 2009


Oprah appearance in the can. She's a lot shorter than I was expecting. She stashed Towelbags under the audience's seats. Screaming ensued.

Not sure what happens now. I should check in with Damien since he pretty much tells me everything I need to do. Gotta tell ya, so far the guy has delivered on everything he's promised. No regrets.

Saturday, May 16, 2009


Wow, where do I start. My new lawyer/agent/business manager, Damien O. Mehn, just got me an appearance on Oprah. That's ridiculous! I'm gonna get the Oprah bump! I leave in the morning so I've got to get packing. First time in Chicago. Maybe I'll get my head shaved where Obama used to go. So awesome...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

My lawyer

So I got a friend request from some guy named Damien O. Mehn. Turns out he is an attorney and I just happen to be looking for one to help me figure out all that legal mumbo jumbo for Towelbags. Strangely convenient, no?

Well, I met Damien today and he's kinda creepy. Real pale and his hand was ice cold. But I guess as long as he knows what he's doing...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Towelbag protoype

Here's the prototype I whipped up and showed Sam. I'm still kinda mad at him because he made fun of it and said it was a dumb idea. Sam just can't see the big picture. In these hard economic times more people are packing their own lunches to save money. Add to that people's growing concern with the environment and Towelbags just make sense! Yes, I realize Sam may be reading this right now but I don't care. You hear that Sam? I'm gonna be riach!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Towelbags, baby

I'm on my way to vast fortune and fame! Towelbag sales are coming in as my Towelbag-making machine's KA-CHUNG, KA-CHUNG lulls me to a deep sleep. I'm so excited about these things I started this blog! I thought I'd be the last guy to start a blog but I figure these are exciting times. All hail the Towelbag!